"The Red Devil" manager of the Phillies, Charlie Manuel, has had enough. Following last night's 8-1 home loss to the Mets and a paltry 3-9 start to the 2007 season, the crafty manager is finally taking a stand against unfair treatment of the media, particularly Philly radio personality Howard Eskin. Last night, he put his foot down, refusing to accept any more stupid questions and suggestions that would fail to help his crappy team anyway.
When asked by Eskin if a temper tantrum might help fuel the team out of their slump, Charlie stared blankly at Eskin, then replied, "I been throwed up," obviously confused by the question. When Eskin asked him to clarify what that meant, Manuel started jumping up and down like a boxer, punching the microphones in front of him like a punching bag, saying "Ryan Howard is God" repeatedly. He then tried to push the podium over before making a dramatic exit, not realizing that it was bolted to the floor, started to go, came back, straightened out his jacket and calmly said, "I drive a Ford. I'll be in my office if you're man enough to be an adult and fight me, Eskin."
Ten minutes later, Eskin was in his office, hoping to 'finally whoop some old man ass', but was instead met by a red-faced Manuel covering his ears with his face to the ground, screaming "I can't hear you, I can't hear you, blahblahblah, we're gonna win the World Series this year, you just wait and see, then you'll be sorry, blahblahblah!" He then grabbed two coaches that happened to already be in his office and shoved them in front of him, saying, "You're just lucky these guys are holding me back, otherwise I'd kick your ass!" After a long pause, Manuel broke down, crying uncontrollably and remarked, "If I knew how to be good...I'd definitely be good."
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