Cam Cameron was grinning from ear to ear at the podium, his Fin fans chanting his name as if he were the next prez of the US. 'Cam-Cam! Cam-Cam! Cam-Cam!' shouted the crowd as he held his hands to his ears and raised his arms in the air, daring for more. Then, the fans joined hands singing a rousing rendition of "We Are The Champions". It was quite flat, but they get points for enthusiasm. So why was the city of Miami so happy after their defending NBA champs got swept by the Bulls?
"Well, not since we got Marino so late in the first round in '83 has there been such an exciting pick for us. To get this guy at #9 in the first round...what a steal. This might be the greatest steal in the history of the NFL draft. Everybody else had him as the #5, #6 WR of the draft, but he was #1 in our book. I still can't believe 8 teams passed up on this guy. Stupid. I'm just glad we could pick up a guy with such amazing speed. I mean, seriously, have you seen how fast he is? He ran back that kickoff in last year's championship game for a touchdown. He got injured celebrating in the end zone, and his team got pummelled...but man, that kid is FAST."
When asked why they didn't take Brady Quinn to address their obvious QB situation, Cameron was surprised. "Wait, Quinn was still on the boards? Serious? Mularkey! No, really, Mike Mularkey, get him over here, NOW!"
After a private, heated discussion with offensive coordinator Mike Mularkey, in which Cameron backhanded him twice, he came back to continue his statement. "You know, there are a lot of questions about Quinn. To put it bluntly, Quinn is probably going to suck in the NFL. Of course, at this point it doesn't look like we're going to get Trent Green, Culpepper is an injury-prone bust, and Lemon might just be...well, a lemon. But that just proves my point. Everybody we just talked to says he's got plenty of question marks, that he's not even that accurate. We already have serious problems, why take Quinn on as well? Especially if he's going to suck like the rest of our QBs?"
Cameron was then asked what other kinds of skills Ted Ginn, Jr. is going to be able to offer to the Miami Dolphins. 'Well, he's fast. REAL fast. Don't know if I mentioned that, but he's maybe the fastest guy I've ever seen on a football field. He might not be able to contribute right away, since he's got that foot injury, but hey, that's ok. We're in this for the long haul with the kid. Besides, he's just so danged fast."
Asked how Ginn, Jr. will be able to contribute with no decent QB to get him the ball, Cameron got defensive. "You know, all this stuff about having a good QB, it's overrated man. For instance, if you run back kickoff returns for touchdowns, you won't even need to use your QB. Also, did you know the center doesn't have to actually snap the ball to the QB everytime? Well, I just learned that, and let me tell you, it's opened up a world of possibilities for this team next season. So, once he has the ball, all he has to do is outrun 11 guys. As fast as he is, I don't see that being a problem. The guy never seems to get tired. We're going to have some serious tricks up our sleeves...I can't tell you when because he's still injured, but someday soon, I'll tell you that."
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