Torre Tired of Arod's Play

The NY Yankees lost 4-6 last night to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays, bringing their losing streak to 5 games and frustrating manager Joe Torre in the process. Immediately following the game, Torre, usually calm and mild-mannered, went off with a stream of profanity-laced expletives, expressing anger for the start of a season which he could only describe as "that superstar's fault.'

"I'm just so sick of his lousy play. We pay him more than anybody else, but the guy just isn't winning ball games for us. What else can I say? I hope our fans continue to boo him when he gets back home so they can light a fire under his ass and get him going."

When reminded that Arod had a 23 game hitting streak dating back to last season coming into the game, including a record tying 14 HRs in the month of April and one of the best major league starts ever, Joe Torre rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Oh, well let's just give him a ring now, why don't we? Here, you want one a mine? Go ahead, give him something he hasn't earned. While you're at it, why don't you just put him in the Hall of Fame too? Like that'll ever happen!"

Torre was asked why he was so mad, a reporter citing that the pitching hasn't exactly been stellar, and the run support from other players inconsistent. "Look, Arod was brought in to win us a championship, period. He's paid 5 guys worth of serious pay. He went 0-3 tonight, with a strike out and a walk. Now, I don't wanna hear about how Mike Myers gave up a grand slam in the 7th. If Arod hits his own grand slam, we're back up and you and I aren't having this conversation. I don't wanna hear about how Jeter got pegged in the thigh. Arod has played shortstop for years, he can just slide over a little and play both positions. Might as well earn his pay for once. I don't wanna hear about how Abreu, Giambi, or Cano didn't get a hit either tonight. I don't wanna hear about anybody else. I don't care that he had a great first 18 games of the season. What about tonight? What about the last 4 games? What good is all that other stuff if he can't win for us on the nights the rest of us really suck? Arod stunk it up tonight, and there's just no excuse for it!"

Asked if he could continue to work with Arod for the rest of the season in light of his apparent frustrations with the player's lack of productivity, Torre responded with this. "You know, hitting home runs and RBIs and playing 3rd base really well is only part of the equation. He needs to step up and do what superstars do. Now, I don't know exactly what that is, because frankly, I'm not as good as everybody thinks I am. However, I do know that superstars have this telepathic, secret brainwave thing that only they know how to do that makes the rest of their team better. He needs to do more of that. He's gotta stop being so selfish and just doing what he alone is physically capable of doing. When he starts improving our pitching and the rest of the guy's hitting and fielding with his superstar voodoo mind tricks, we'll be ok."