Monday, April 23, 2007

Utah's Kirilenko Shows Rare Emotion After Being Benched

In a rare show of emotion, Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko broke down in front of reporters, sobbing quietly after a heart-breaking loss to Houston in the first game of their 1st round series. "I think this is not fair, this benching me. I play only 16 minutes, how I am supposed to win if I play only 16 minutes?" Coach Sloan, who happened to walk by when his statement was made, addressed him face to face. 'Well, frankly, Andrei, you sucked. You want 48 minutes, score more than 2 points." "Hey, I have 1 rebound, 1 steal, 1 block, 1 assist also, you stupid-head farmer-boy, you just shut up, I'm not talk to you anyway!" shot back Kirilenko, wiping tears from his eyes. Jerry Sloan then mumbled something under his breath, walking back to his office. Kirilenko then continued. "This is hard for me, I try to sleep with woman that is not my wife to relieve stress, but nobody sleep with me. What, I smell or something?"

When teammates were asked, they decided to do an open roundtable interview, where players were free to express their feelings. Deron Williams started out by saying "AK's been our rock, man, he was supposed to be our superstar in this league...he's just been held back by injuries...but we're here for him." Derek Fisher piggybacked off that, adding, "If one of us hurts, guys, we all hurt. Let's bring it in." The whole team then joined hands, said a prayer, sang a church hymn, then joined in a group hug and cry while stunned and somewhat embarrassed reporters stood by. "I've never seen anything like that before in my life," said Tubbs Larsen, a cameraman for a local news station. "No wonder they lost. Guess this season's chances are shot."

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