Charlotte, NC - Coach Bickerstaff is furious. Furious that his team just beat last year's NBA champs-twice in a row. Furious that they have won 4 of 6 games in April. Furious that they in a three-way tie for 10th place in the East. "This is NOT what we talked about at the beginning of the season. This was not the game plan. I don't understand what's so hard about losing games! I told these guys, look, we can be the best at being the worst, seriously, think about it. I even tried to make it fun, telling them to treat the season like a long game of lowball poker. They obviously didn't listen, because we've been winning."
Concerned about getting one of the two future Hall of Famers in next year's draft, Bickerstaff reminded the press that this is Michael Jordan's team, and he commands excellence. He was momentarily interrupted by Adam Morrison when he streaked naked through the press room, blurting out, "I'm on Michael Jordan's team, ROCK ON!" and then proceeded to double-flip someone outside of the room off, running after them. After shaking his head in regret, Bickerstaff continued. "We had a rare opportunity to get Oden or Durant, two of the most proven Hall of Famers to ever come out of college. Now, to put it mildly, we're screwed for another year."
When asked in the locker room, what the problem has been, Derek Anderson summed it up in two words. Adam Morrison. "Have you looked at that dude? He looks like a really jacked-up Ringo Starr on drugs. He's playing like we're trying to get into the playoffs or something. Coach said at the beginning of the season that it was a simple system we had. Just don't try. And what does the kid do? Goes out and tries. Every damn night. It's really getting on my nerves. Fortunately, he's injured now, but he'll probably still try to play"
A silent Brevin Knight sat on his hands in one corner of the locker room, an idiotic grin from ear to ear on his face. When asked why he was so happy, he responded, "Hey, I'm the second highest paid player on the team, and I'm not averaging double figures in any category. I scored 2 points in two wins this month, I'm doing exactly what coach asked. In fact, I may just be the most unproductive player on this team when you consider how many minutes I average and what I make. You know what that makes me, don't you?" After a pause, he answered his own question. "The most valuable player on the team."
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