Utah Jazz forward Andrei Kirilenko stood in front of reporters on Wednesday morning, visibly upset and worn down from Tuesday night's game 2 loss to San Antonio.
"I was warm up during shootaround before game, when Manu [Ginobli] hand me his water bottle, giggling. At first, I was 'spicious, but I was just so thirsty, I drank whole thing at once. Afterwards, I noticed the water had very 'mediciny' taste. I forget about this until 5th, 6th missed shot, then I start thinking, 'something is not right here.' I'm worse than normal. Then, I start to wonder, was there something in water? Was I drugged in game one too? I must been, because I have no blocks, bunch of turnover, and a big headache"
Utah coach Jerry Sloan nodded his head and said, "It wouldn't surprise me. You saw how dirty they were with the Suns. I'm still burned up about that series. I'll never get over it. I was looking forward to sitting on the couch for one more game, an exciting game 7 that everybody wanted to see, even my players. I didn't wanna see this crap. Shots bouncing off the front of rims, bad passes in the paint, bad calls. If I wanted to see this, I'd go back to school. Wouldn't surprise me if all my players were drugged by Bruce Bowen alone. The guy mugs everybody, how would you know if he slipped your guy a mickey or something? I don't even know what a mickey is, but it can't be good."
Robert Horry, who happened to be passing by, flashed his best Will Smith smile and stopped to chime in, "Yeah, that's right, I'm not sorry, and I'd do it again, this is the NBA, son, better bring your A game...what're we talkin' about here guys?"
Jerry Sloan, still disgusted with Horry, stormed off after saying, "You make me sick, thug!"
Horry, confused by Sloan's sudden departure said, "Was it something I said? Seriously, you guys were talking about me, right? Go ahead, I won't interrupt again, talk some more about me...please?"
Tony Parker and Bruce Bowen didn't want to hear excuses though. Instead, they took an unexpected approach, giggling while commenting on Kirilenko's allegations against Ginobli.
"If he wants to give one of their players drugged water in the privacy of his home court, he can do that. It's his water. I know a lot a guys who have drugs on the back roads of Mississippi, if that's what you want. People need to mind they're own business," stated Tony Parker.
A reporter interupted Parker to inform him that this is a felony in the United States.
He replied, "Well, it can't be too bad of a crime."
Bruce Bowen stopped laughing long enough to say this. "Look, if you wanna throw the book at him, fine, but I don't think it's fair to hunt the man down when he hasn't been convicted of anything...yet."
Both later released apologies posted on the Spurs website. "On our comments earlier about drugged water, we would like to make it clear that we do not take part in, or condone, drugging beverages of any kind, nor do we condone drug use in any form, voluntarily or otherwise."
Bowen and Parker plan to go to rehab after they win their 4th championship in San Antonio this season.
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