Coach Pop, Spurs Upset About Game 1

After a 108-100 win in San Antonio against the Utah Jazz in game one of the Western Conference Finals, the three time champion Spurs were anything but satisfied.

"We gotta get more calls. They [the Jazz] were touching me almost every time I had the ball. Add to that the fact that I actually got called for a few fouls, you'd think Utah paid the refs. We were been up by 27 at the time, but it's common knowledge: I don't foul," said Tim Duncan. "It's a good thing they couldn't make a basket in the first half, otherwise, we might have had to work for this win."

Coach [Gregg] Popovich concurred, adding that "This Utah team is a joke. So they beat Tracy "Choker" McGrady. Then followed it up with a convincing win over Golden "cheap shot" State. That's not that hard when the team you're facing throws up nothing but wild 3s. They're playing a real team now, we should be beating them by 60 points every game, especially at home."

Andrei Kirilenko reverted to his old ways, breaking down in tears after the game. "Coach only play me 29 minutes. I want to play whole game. I only score 7 points because I need more time on court to have big game," he said, embracing and petting his favorite teddy bear 'Grizz'. "This may be only chance to win championship, I will probably be injured against next season."

Coach Sloan was reticent to speak about the game, instead choosing to talk about a subject long forgotten and dropped.

"I still can't believe Horry was suspended for only two games for that vicious hip check on Stevie. I feel so bad for the little guy. Shoulda been for the rest of the playoffs, maybe then we'd have a chance against the Spurs. And then, Stoudemire and Diaw, getting suspended just for going over to see what happened. I heard Amare was just checking in to the game. I just don't think any of us have gotten over the events of game 5. Maybe you've all moved on, but we all watched that game in my family room with a big bowl of popcorn, and it was just heartwrenching. We wanted 7 games, it was just so exciting. We actually forgot we were still in the playoffs. Makes you wonder...should we be playing the Suns right now? It just taints everything, including this series. If we lose, we'll always wonder; should the Suns be in the finals instead of the Spurs? I personally would have preferred watching 27 games of name-calling and crying between the Suns and Spurs than the game I just saw today. Much more exciting, if you ask me. But, nobody's even listening to me, much less asking me, so it doesn't really matter."