Portis Speaks Out; Vick Speaks Up

Next to teammate Chris Samuels (who looks eerily similar to Michael Clarke Duncan giggling like a schoolgirl), Clinton Portis offered his opinions on the allegations that Michael Vick might be involved in illegal dog-fighting.

"So what, he fights dogs, it's his dog, he can do what he want in the privacy of his home. I slap my girlfriend every once in a while, but she's my girlfriend, I can do what I want behind closed doors. I whoop on my kid seem like ever' day, but that's my kid, I can do what I want with him," said a defiant Portis. "People need to mind they business."

When the reporter informed Portis all those things were felonies, he had this to say.

"Well, I ain't no lawyer or nothin', but don't seem like they bad crimes. Murder, rape, stealing, I'd say they much worse. Hey, I'm from the back roads a Mississippi, you want a dog fight, I can take you to lots a places they have dog fights. I could show you some croc wraslin' in the swamps too, you like that. They may not be legal, but they mild crimes if they crimes at all."

We recently caught up with Michael Vick himself, while gambling at a casino to unwind from all the hard work he's done in the off-season. He was extremely positive about his future in football and the love of his fans.

"Of course they love me, you heard them cheer. Look at this face. How could you not love this face? I'm bigger than Jesus. King Kong ain't got nothing on me! I could do anything, I mean anything, and my fans would still love me. You know why? Because I'm all that...AND a bag a chips...mesquite BBQ, the best!"

A registered dog breeder in Atlanta, Vick was then asked "will you continue to breed and fight dogs?"

His answer?

"Of course I will, I'm Michael Vick, Michael Vick is a superstar, Michael Vick do what he...wait a minute. I know what you tryin' to do here. Man...no comment."

Clinton Portis released the following statement on the Redskin's offical website late Monday.

'In a recent interview I gave, I wish to make it clear that I do not condone murder, rape, or stealing. Furthermore, I have not, nor do I intend to, beat my girlfriend, wife, or child. Oh, and I don't support, nor have I ever, at any time, watched or taken part in dog-fighting or croc- wrasling. These were only things I have 'heard' about in passing."